Have any of you felt guilty for doing things in the best interest of yourself? Heck, I always feel guilty …but now I’ll do what’s best for me! Well, at least I’m going to try a bit harder.
When it comes to… well basically everything in life, I am always thinking about how the other person may feel or how a specific situation may end up. I’m an overthinker in many ways, and I just hate thinking that I could or would be the cause of a problem. Wouldn’t it be great if the world ran smoothly without any hurdles?? That it took everyone’s feelings and best interests into account?? That would be a perfect world, which unfortunately doesn’t exist (sorry to burst your bubble).
When does it end?
I’ve been in so many situations in the past where I’ve done myself in. From relationships, to in the workplace.
I was so unhappy in a past relationship once that I stayed in the relationship for probably a good year or so after feeling I wanted to leave. Why? Because he was still happy and I gave him the benefit of the dought that I thought it would get better and that I would also be happy again. Needless to say that obviously didn’t happen and I needed a nudge of help to leave. Yes, it was Steven that gave me the nudge, he made me so happy and helped me realise that I don’t need to stay in that toxic relationship to hopefully one day find happiness again. Now we are happy together with a beautiful son. But my point here is that he is the one that helped me and if it wasn’t for him, who knows where I would be now.
This has also been a tough one. As a kid in Primary school through to High school, I was never part of the popular crowd. So the few friends I did (and still) have, I cherished, always worried about losing them and forever being alone. So yes, when it came to doing things together I would always do what my friend wanted to do (even if it got me in trouble), although I felt like doing something different. I was always thinking of their feelings instead of my own.
Now even as an adult, I still get theses guilty feelings, especially in the workplace. Your boss comes in and is just generally having a bad day, you let him/her be and continue with your tasks right?? Not me, I would be analysing everything in my head, did I do something wrong? Is it my fault he/she is in a bad mood? Yeah, it definitely must be me! What did I do? That’s me, even after getting assurance that I did nothing wrong. Another issue I have is pretending to be happy when sometimes I’m not or being too scared to look for better opportunities (such as a higher salary or better hours) even if I am happy in the job. Just because I don’t want to let my boss down and have him/her go through the process of finding and training someone new.
But I’m done feeling guilty and now I’ll do what’s best for me!
So a new opportunity has come my way and yes I’ve got all these guilty feelings running through my mind about how things may turn out in the end. But why am I again over analysing these situations. I am an adult, I have a child and a home that Steven and myself run together. I need to do what is best for me and my family in any and/or all situations from friendships to work-life!!
If you have felt like this in the past (or still do) how do you overcome it? I know some people that really don’t care about the next person because they want what’s best for themselves and their family. I want to be this way. Is it just the way my heart was moulded or can I do something about it? Let me know if you have any experience in this.
Pictures taken from: Pixabay